Goodness, I saw this article and I had to make at least a short post about it because of the way in which I already know this path, and even further, know the eventual path beyond this story!
If I remove fat from the equation, and simply state that as a guy I happen to have a preference for the natural look, that might just be acceptable or even favorable in some circles. Because I happen to be attracted to the natural, almost hyper feminine look of a female that happens to be fat, this changes nearly every aspect of this equation.
It is understandably impossible for the average size physical preference individual to imagine what might be attractive about cellulite, rolls, and creases. At the same time, one must acknowledge that if someone is attracted to the elegant, elaborate and almost exaggerated affects that fat has on the perception of femininity of an otherwise smaller female form, then the phrase "it comes with the territory" must be understood as part of the fat attraction phenomenon.
While some physical aspects of fat may raise a disgust reaction from the insular cortex of a skinny lover, those same things will always be present in a larger female, so therefore a preference for the larger female form will present those things as attractive aspects of a larger attractive system.
When the article about stomach amputation regret was presented to me in the randomness of google, I was given a subtle reminder of something I have always known and always tried to make more people aware of.
'The NHS won't remove the skin and I'll never manage to save £20,000 to have it done privately' Wow. If the reader is to look at the "after" photo presented, one might notice the severity of the original bypass scar across the middle of the belly. The average fat admirer will look at that one thing alone and cringe with the realization that what was once a full, round, feminine belly is now a deflated balloon with a zipper across the front that resembles a stuffed (or formerly stuffed) animal.
What most skinny lovers can't understand is the way in which a fat admirer sees a big woman's belly. It is similar to other women in it's shape, but still unique and special to each woman. I have often tried to compare it to a "third breast" for fat admirers because while all breasts are basically the same, they are still all unique to their owner's specific size and shape combination.
I found another disturbing irony in this statement.
After she miscarried a baby at 15 weeks, Malissa was distraught when doctors told her she is unlikely to carry a baby full term as her scarred stomach can't take the pressure of a growing uterus.
Wow... Ironic. That big empty thing can't carry a baby now because it's got so much scar tissue from the sternum to first belly roll incision. Not only has the integrity of the look been virtually destroyed, but even the mere functionality is forever limited as well. We pay a high price for vanity don't we?
'I hoped being slimmer would mean I could wear a bikini and go swimming, but I'm too ashamed of my body.
'The thought of living with a body like this for the rest of my life is just devastating.'
Wow again. Let me just point out that a vast majority of women who have this surgery will quickly defend the decision about it being for their health, not for looks. The fact is, no sensible person wants to admit that taking the %.2 mortality rate risk is, in fact, for a cosmetic procedure. I continue to seriously doubt and I will openly proclaim the inaccuracy of that mortality rate as well. For some reason it is not exactly easy to get stats about deaths that take place 30 days after, 60 days after, and 90 days after. What is also horribly tragic is in the way that those deaths could easily be attributed to a person already being "death fat" so they would have died anyway... No harm, no foul right? There is that freaking crystal ball again. Doctors just love using it even though they would scoff if a patient accused them of trying to be psychic!
People being sold the whole idea of thinness in a scalpel will quickly learn that the medical industry has very little value on self image, self esteem, or self worth. In fact, the higher those values are in an individual, the harder their job might just be. I mean, isn't it a pain when somebody has to ask all kinds of questions and want all kinds of real life documentation?
Every time I hear someone give the miscalculated argument about fat and health care costs, I want to show them a chart of insurance company CEO salaries and the incredible, immense profits enjoyed by the biggest insurance companies. I also wouldn't mind pointing out the fact that some research suggests that smokers die first, then fat people, and then the old people in such good health tax the system the most! So, every time you hear a skinny person b*tch about the high health care costs of obesity, pull some of that truth out unto them.
Ok, I really went nuts on that one! I just wanted to point out though how ironic and hypocritical it is when a woman about to have weight loss surgery is so very very insistent about her health motive when everybody knows without a doubt that vanity is at the heart of this life altering decision. Be careful what you wish for! If you want to suddenly be "thin" all the sudden, you might find that you were happier, more beautiful, and more importantly, more natural the way you are, or the way you were meant to be. One cannot see the future though, or wait, the doctors say you will die, so if you will die anyway, what's the use? I said in an earlier post, what if there was a way for them to make you want to get on the trains?
When the woman in this article talks about having the skin removed, I just want to illustrate the way in which the skin removal will not be pretty just as the bypass surgery is obviously not pretty. I imagine a big woman having surgery, losing weight, then having skin removed. Wow. A freaking body suit of skin that is not where it's supposed to be. What's even more horrible is the thought of what will happen when the individual inevitably gains weight once again! It's going to be a strange kind of humanoid water balloon with a big purple seam up and down the sides. For some reason even that manifestation of an obese female no longer resembles original natural female femininity. What a tragedy indeed!
"Although my heart's healthier and life expectancy is normal, some days I'm too ill to get out of bed my immune system is really weak so it's hard to fight infections and I have stomach pains and constant diarrhoea."
Yes, I've done research about peripheral neuropathy and it's tragic for me to imagine such pain brought about by malnutrition because of inadequate after care. I saw an ad pop up in adsense that actually brags about "weight loss surgery in under an hour" and we assume that everyone getting this surgery gets proper counseling and after care! It was something to see someone who had the surgery finally come clean about the digestive issues as well. Most people will maintain an attitude of "it won't happen to me" but I can say with all certainty that if you cheat evolution and redirect a human's digestive plumbing, there must be hell to pay. I mean, I have enough digestive issues without introducing a seam of scar tissue into my gut, and possibly the removal of systems connected to the insular cortex of my brain!
I'm reminded of the Carnie Wilson surgery failure right away. I have probably brought this up before because I know someone by two degrees who died on the operating table after making the comment to her daughter that she was having the "carnie surgery". Several family members tried to talk her out of it, but she wanted to be around for the grand kids and all you know. I have to wonder if she would be here today if she had not made this decision to save her life. Tragedy continues.
At first I was really upset to see Carnie Wilson go from size acceptance spokesperson to weight loss surgery salesperson. I was shocked, disappointed, but reminded of the typical fickle nature of celebrity and the endless search for the bigger better deal.
One can imagine why I don't see a pretty future for the current super size star of the moment as I wait for the inevitable announcement that she too is going under the proverbial knife. I have seen a few blogs here and there from the many victims of weight loss surgery who are now much more free with sharing suffering info now that they recognize the error of their ways in taking this dangerous flawed surgical step. I must quote the end of the post that I just linked to in order to make a point.
He ended the appointment. No lab slip, no testing, no suggestions, no empathy and ZERO answers. I felt like I wasted my entire day, DH took the day OFF with one day notice, the 1+ hour drive, the parking garage and co-pay entirely, and I left.
Bob and I discussed on the way out, that it was Much Nicer when we went in there at 320 and 370 pounds respectively and were preparing to have weight loss surgery, the sales part is a lot different than the return part.
PS. It's ironic that this post has Google ads for their program below. LOL.
Yes, the sales part is always much different than the part where they got paid and you are a past check rather than a future check. That is really how life works within the construct of a capitalist society. I used to have this supreme sense of empathy for those who suffer with all the side affects of this surgery, but then I remember something. If I approach someone about to have surgery and explain the risks, they look back at me like a cliche sheep and give me the for my health b.s. Oh Lord how we have all been fooled! Make them want to get on the trains? Oh the humanity! I couldn't warn these people if I was even given the chance! The very people who are doing this used car sales pitch with the surgery are not being recognized for the dangerous way in which they are profiting from the suffering of the formerly, currently, and doomed to be future obese!
Oh, I had to add... The post with the google ads are not coincidence. The blog is within the construct of custom ads. So, even if you say "weight loss surgery sucks", a blog will inevitably include ads for weight loss surgery because it was brought up at all. :) There are no coincidences! roflmao There is, however, a way to filter out surgery ads, but I don't want to reduce my profit margin by doing something that limits any potential revenue stream on my blog! :) Freaking hypocrite! Naw, I explained that in the sell out post! I think it's acceptable if I'm too poor to even have necessary dental surgery, I can complain about weight loss surgery and advertise it at the same time! ;)
Going all the way back to the point that I seemed to abandon so long ago, I will say that I used to be disappointed in Carnie Wilson's switch and playing both sides of the fence. When she became a poster child for the surgery and then she got fat again, she became an equal poster child for failure of said procedure! Wow the balance is in affect! She continues to seek out little slices of fame wherever she can get it, but all the while, she exists as a fat woman who is not supposed to be fat because this surgery is such a big freaking medical miracle! Wow! Keep getting those jobs in media Carnie! This way you won't be forgotten and discarded like so many of those before you who gained fame in one physical manifestation and lost fame when they changed that form. I don't know why the name Rosanne comes to mind! :)
'I hope people read this and realize gastric surgery isn't a miracle cure. I wish I'd lost the weight through exercise and healthy eating. I know this operation was life-saving, but the complications I'm suffering now might still kill me. The truth is I feel I'm no better off than I was before.'
You know Malissa, if enough weight loss surgery victims speak out maybe more people may just realize what's going on. Maybe more people won't be so content to help a surgeon pay for his BMW to have him blow you off when problems come up days, weeks, months, years after the surgery has been performed and the check has cleared.
However her mother said: 'I don't regret encouraging her to have it, the bottom line is Malissa would have died if she didn't lose the weight.'
What's really scary about this sentiment is in the way her mother doesn't want her to die in one way, but she seems perfectly content to watch her daughter slowly waste away and die from other complications down the line. I guess her mother really wants to make sure that Malissa is thin and pretty in her coffin!
I have to add something, almost having nothing to do with this post but still something that I found among the amusing and silly equations floating around obesity and all that is allegedly wrong with it. If Jamie Oliver is the obesity messiah, then is MeMe Roth the obesity anti-Christ? I know this is an extreme position that Roth would not appreciate, but I couldn't help but notice something in the mission statement.
eradicating Secondhand Obesity™ (obesity handed down from one generation to the next, as well as from citizen to citizen)
Does that mean that peer pressure, bullying, and harassment are acceptable to prevent one fat person from going out of the house so that they might not influence other individuals to be obese? I mean, that's kind of scary. No wonder this organization was compared to a well known hate group on the Dr. Phil show! The group is called national action against obesity, and I can totally agree with some of this philosophy. What needs to be addressed though is that this group is not against obese people, or disputing their right to make bad choices and therefore there very right to EXIST at all. Keep in mind the fact that this writer is an existential philosopher who is debating the right of the obese to exist as is, regardless of intent or desire to change that aspect of self!
I can hope that this group maintains focus on the many things wrong with our food supply and the casual and liberal use of food additives that may be doing much more damage than simply making people obese. There is even a probability that over consumption of these additives by the obese is a contributing factor to the very things that obesity is being blamed for in and of itself!
One thing that I am really uncomfortable with is the way in which this article points out that some food companies are considered "villains" simply because they offer high calorie and potentially unhealthy menu items. I will maintain that I would prefer to have the right to choose what I eat rather than being told by someone who is literally afraid of becoming fat and stuck in the position of that perspective. I really don't want Mrs. Roth telling me what I can and can't eat, and I don't want her telling fast food outlets what menu items I can and can't choose from. It's like an edible first amendment!
I honestly and sincerely agree with a lot of media I've read coming from the NAAO. I can even say that I would be with them %100 when it comes to the care and concern for contributing factors to obesity. The problem is when someone from that kind of group starts practicing hate speech against the obese who insist on existing and being in media, like Mrs. Roth herself enjoys being. The more I read on about this woman, the more I begin to wonder how much she enjoys uttering fatty fat fat on TV. Does she care, or is she just jealous that some women get to eat and she doesn't???????
I find it ironic that she failed to point out to Dr. Phil the way in which he is a fat diet salesman. This phenomenon in itself is totally fascinating to me, as Kirstie Alley is also joining the ranks of the fat who sell snake oil to the fat! :) Even MeMe points out big pharma as villains in the obesity fight because of their failure to fix the problem but their quickness to make a few bucks in the failed attempt! :) I know she wouldn't say anything to Dr. Phil though because then she wouldn't get the chance to almost bust out crying when compared to the leader of a hate group! :)
Ok, this got way way too long, and while I admire some of the deep writing of other bloggers, I recognize a tendency for me to go so far off the point that it is almost no longer visible by the time I reach the conclusion! I simply had to go back to Dr. Phil though because I admire this guy, I can tell he knows what he's talking about, but he is yet another small gear in the larger machine of media, spitting out misinformation to sell you something that doesn't work. I can't imagine why so many people would enjoy reading about current events by searching google for a blog on the subject rather than be beat over the head with the left or right leaning perspective that is blind to the most important details hidden within the subject at hand.
I knew that Roth had to enter the obesiverse sooner or later, but seeing that talk show meant that I simply could not wait any longer! :) I must address this phenomenon where people are given permission and even encouraged to promote fat hate and anti-obesity peer pressure. I will conclude then with a simple observation.......
Paleolithic era, some time around 35,000 years ago. Yes, that's thousands... Thousands... Of freaking years.... Ok, open up your mind hole just a little more, a little more.... There you go... 35,000 years ago.... Yeah... FAT CHICK STATUES. Wow... What was that about? That was a long time ago! Was there fat women to model for those? Where those women worshiped as Goddesses? Let's come a little closer to NOW shall we? A little phenomenon known as the "circus fat lady" comes to mind. What a spectacle it must have been in an age before majority obesity to see a woman of such proportions! I still insist on asking the question "why?" when I see materials such as these from a time so much before my own. There was obviously some kind of visual and perhaps even sexual fascination with fat for much longer than I have been around!
When I used to ask myself why I was attracted to women who happen to be fat, I failed to recognize at the time just how many generations of males must have walked in my footsteps before me. The thought of having a size preference is not so alien when I see that 35,000 years ago the earliest form of human shaped sculpture just had to be of a big fat round woman! Coincidence?
I started this post talking about potential backlash to the weight loss surgery. I made the point of how women who do this to themselves will forever change their look in ways that they could not possibly imagine. Furthermore, there is no consideration given to the way their future look will be perceived, even by those who they claim they are doing this for! Doctors are not going to tell a woman that she can lose weight, but she'll only look better in clothes if she can even keep the weight off. We wouldn't want to lose that check would we? As an admirer, the surgery is a phenomenon that is most offensive to the aspect of being an admirer of the "natural look" of a plus sized, hell, super sized woman.
Even when a woman has the surgery, loses weight, and then gains it back, she'll forever be physically marked by that psychological decision. It is and always will be a true tragedy, but I will always remind myself that those who had the surgery were already "lost" to the admirer phenomenon. They could not be happy with an admirer anyway, because they so obviously hated their own physical manifestation to the degree that they would literally destroy everything about their look that a fat admirer finds attractive! Surgery isn't for them though, it's not for the look, right? It's for your health. Well then! If it's "for your health" then take a good, long, hard look at the article about one woman who had so much success with the surgery that she now wants to kill herself!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
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