your a fatty i'm a fatty

In trying to find an article about the stigma of obesity that is tranferred onto those who are merely associated with them, I came across a summary journal that involved the research I was interested in bringing to the obesiverse.

If one were to do a google search for "stigma and obesity" there are over 370,000 results, so I would have to say that the numbers indicate a serious social issue going on that is not being addressed in parallel with the public health crisis of obesity. I think it is a responsibility of those in power and in positions of authority to address obesity stigma in balance with the constant barrage of obesity numbers and statistics and the death hidden in the size of our waistlines. Even if someone is willing to subscribe to the most extreme "solutions", they will deal with at least some form of discrimination in the institution that they are paying to help them.

When people complain about this or that, they rarely give suggestions to improve the situation beyond "make a new law". My only wish is that when the anti-obesity initiative is really put into affect, it would address the need for compassion to those who are "afflicted" whenever there is talk like "something needs to be done". If I wasn't intimately attached to the size acceptance struggle I might just blow it all off as a way to avoid the real issues that people are really concerned with that just won't go away.

One quote from the article, “Unfortunately, the results from both of our studies revealed that a male job applicant was rated more negatively when seen with an overweight female than with a normal-weight female, and that just being in the mere proximity of an overweight woman was enough to trigger this stigmatization toward the male applicant,” seems to justify my argument that as an individual associated with an obese person, I run the risk of suffering this same social judgment and bias that the obese person experiences. This is no surprise to me as I have been in social situations with one or more larger than average females, and I have had to develop a sense of pride in knowing that I am receiving additional attention because my good taste is indulged without fear of public shame.

I am also compelled, it seems, to do other things which make my association with the obese permanent, in the tattoos which adorn my skin and in the photos that exist where I am in a very intimate situation with someone who is vastly larger than myself. It would seem as if I am a glutton for punishment, but I have always recognized that what makes me happy will be seen as a "no, no" by some. Sometimes, even those individuals are eventually educated or enlightened to the fact that their intolerance is not even fully understood by themselves.

I am moved to use a variation of the word "indulge" because it appears in yet another similar study, which I will get to later. When I do a search for obesity stigma at a site that publishes medical studies, I get 105 results. There has been a good deal of study on this matter, and I am surprised at the negligence in not addressing that as part of the problem. Omg this site even has research on why plus sized women complain about finding a good man.

On a more serious note, the people behind this study really had the right idea. My favorite line from that one is "A new model aimed at reducing avoidant behavior and increasing psychological flexibility, has shown to be relevant in the treatment of other chronic health problems and is worth examining for improving the lives of obese persons."

This means that people who are not constantly reminded of how "ugly" they are because of their affliction have a better chance of coping with and maybe even overcoming it. Duh! In the same way we don't persecute those with HIV because of the moral implications of "how it might have been contracted". We certainly don't blame someone who has cancer for working with asbestos, or eating a product containing an ingredient that was later found to be carcinogenic.

Because obesity is so quickly associated with over-eating, it is one of the few behaviors that carries with it a constant physical reminder to the individual and everyone else. This is particularly tragic in the cases where the metabolic system has been damaged and the individual really is in no control of what their body decides to do with what they eat however much or little. When I look up metabolic disease on that medical site I got 647324 results. Is it fair to blame every obese person for simply overeating when there are 10 major categories of inherited metabolic diseases?

I could not find any copy of the article I really wanted to bring up except for a copy I had saved and commented on a long time ago. I had to quote a part of that article here for a bit of commentary before closing this post.

The man with the big woman was rated 22 percent more negatively than the same fellow with the thin companion. When seen with the large woman, he was more likely to be described as miserable, self-indulgent, passive, shapeless, depressed, weak, insignificant and insecure.

"It shows that people project negative attitudes associated with obesity not only on the obese but all those who associate with them," Halford said.

The study also found that students who were themselves overweight were more likely than usual to rate the man harshly when pictured with the obese partner.


I know that sometimes the truth hurts, and it's going to be shocking to some plus sized women to realize that there are times when a guy doesn't want to admit to being attracted to a plus sized woman because of how a plus sized woman would view him upon finding out. I used to wonder why I would hear about this guy or that guy dating a bbw when he "doesn't consider himself a fat admirer", but yet the last 5 women this guy dated just happen to be fat.

When I was "enlightened" I figured that phenomenon out very quickly. A guy who admits his attraction to a big woman would probably be thought to have deviant sexual tendencies, so there has to be some kind of excuse if a guy indulges the desire to experience at least some aspect of what it's like to be with a big woman.

I also realize that more highly charismatic guys than myself can talk more women into things than I could ever imagine, and before I have sympathy for a big woman who was "used" by a charismatic and obviously insincere guy (jerk), I would have to consider how many less attractive but more sincere "nice guys" were shot down by that woman before she ended up in a situation where she could be humiliated or used by the guy who makes no secret that "this isn't really his thing". I also tend to realize as I read something like that article that a lot of it really is fiction and if just one female fell for that kind of treatment, it was what she was actually looking for, not a victim of.

That whole subject deserves it's own post, which will be coming I'm sure. I already thought of a name for the post, "dispelling the myth that fat chicks are easy". It's obvious that with so many people jumping to the conclusion that fat chicks are easy, said fat chicks will be defensive about this misconception, thereby making them much more "difficult" (as opposed to easy:). Ah, the balance! I probably have a serious bias as an individual who has never had intimacy come so "easily" when I would have been grateful and not "settling". I just don't know though, I've never "settled" with a skinny chick so it's my opinion that any guy with a big woman is with her because that's what he likes!

I paid particular attention to the word "self indulgent" in the stigma transfer research study because it implies that everyone who used that word would assume that this guy was partaking in some kind of forbidden fruit, something that everyone wants but should not actually follow through with. That's a very interesting aspect that I'm sure most people will overlook, but it's exactly the reason why this writer would become intrigued with size acceptance and the plight of the obese in the first place. Another way to put it is something that a plus sized woman told me several years ago. She said "big women are like mopeds, everybody wants to ride one but they don't want their friends to see them on it". I heard that quote from my friend several years before seeing it later in the article I linked to previously.

I know there are serious issues within size acceptance that I will get to, but the things I have found out by virtue of people being surveyed has been invaluable in helping me to figure out why I am the way I am, and why I care at all about any of this. I use the word enlightened quite a bit because I have not only had to be enlightened to what I really want, but also about what others really want as well.

I pulled out the part of that article that shows the balance and how powerful and real it is. We are in the "fat matrix" and setting your mind free involves seeing the truth about the way things are. I just had to quote that part of the article because it not only points out the obvious stigma that exists, but also the fact that the stigma is even stronger among those considered "obese" themselves! This is why I have such a radical view of the future and how fat people themselves would line up for whatever our authority figures say is the right thing to do because they say so for our own good. This is also how I have been forced to accept the way in which size discrimination exists and can be harsh even within the size acceptance movement itself (too big, too small, just right).